TransJakarta Survival Guide

It was almost a year ago when I initiated my almost-daily adventure on the TransJakarta (TJ) from Salemba to Alpus. Well, not really a year until this September but I’m on holiday now, which means no busway ride for me and I’m not looking forward to any TJ ride in the near future. I’ve experienced the best and the worst it can be, and like it or not, it has colored my life. My mom has taken to calling me “the busway lover”. Eeugh. I'd better get to the point now.

In celebration of my so-called “love of busway”, I’m spreading the mass transport love and joy to the whole world through my very own TransJakarta Survival Guide. It is a reflection of my affair with Sutiyoso and Fauzi Bowo’s pet project. Use this at your own risk – you have been warned.

OK, first and foremost, any potential TJ passenger should realize that TJ operates in its own universe. The buses come and go capriciously, and God alone knows how much time we waste waiting for our bus.  You will have plenty of time to admire the bus stops, called “shelters”. I believe they’re called shelters for a reason – not a good reason, if you’re wondering. Air conditioning in the shelters are all-natural, keeping in mind that “natural” in Jakarta = Mother Nature + her bratty illegitimate offspring, the toxic stuffs floating in the air. Its design is an example of minimalism. It’s basically a box made of corrugated metal and glass with a few benches plopped here and there. Austerity is the word of the shelters. If your trip includes changing corridors, it means you have a chance to enjoy a scenic route from one shelter to another since you will be walking a considerable distance. Hurray!

That said, I recommend that passengers prepare themselves physically, mentally, spiritually, and whatever aspect your body holds. Before hitting the trail, it is always a great thing if you have already known your destination shelter, the corridors you have to take, and where you have to change buses. There are guards/guides in most shelters, but sometimes they’re not there or they may not be the nicest guy around to ask for directions. So do your homework and save yourself from all the fuss. Don’t forget to allocate enough time for your trip. Due to the arbitrary nature of the TJ, trips can take less than 15 minutes or a lifetime. If you are the kind of busy person who has to be at two places at the same time, TJ is definitely not a smart choice.

The moment you enter the shelter you must buy the ticket. It ticket costs Rp3500 and it grants you unlimited ride on the city’s busway system, provided you don’t go out of the shelters. If you have a day to spare, you can try spending it on board these giants. If you really have a day to spare and decide to ride TJ all day long, please get a life. Seriously.

Now that you’re in the waiting area, chances are you must wait for some time. This is where the physical part goes into play. Be a nice guy/girl and stand in line. If someone is being obnoxious, ignore them and don’t be like them; we have enough obnoxious people in the city. In some shelters, the line will fan out from the door and people will pile up from every direction. Queue concept FAIL. You should stick to the real line. Oh yeah, wait for the bus at the right shelter door and don’t go in from the exit door. In case you’re getting the articulated bus, you can enter from the front and back door (the middle’s for the exit). I advise you take the back door.

When the bus approaches, everybody in line will move to the I-have-to-get-on-the-bus formation, i.e. they will start pushing forward. Adapt yourself to the formation, and make sure all your belongings are safe. When the bus door is open before you, proceed carefully to ensure your safety and dignity (tripping over the steps = bad!). There are two scenarios on this point.

Scenario A: there’s no seat available and you have to stand. Unless you’ll be getting off at the next stop, you should make your way to the back of the bus or the front. I generally prefer the back since it is more spacious. Don’t be a jerk by sticking around in front of the door when it’s crowded. Happy standing, and hope that you will get a seat during your lovely trip.

Scenario B: there’s a seat. You should…sit! Yay us! Please be a civilized passenger and give up your seat if someone needs it more. Possible candidates: pregnant women, old people, handicapped, and people with small children. Personally, I don’t give my seat to any woman. If they’re not pregnant, they can stand. In fact, I think its deeply condescending to all women to think that a woman is not strong enough to survive TJ.

There are several things you can do in the bus, apart from eavesdropping on a fellow passenger’s phone call. You can sleep. You can read stuffs. You can listen to music – and if you don’t have your own, some bus drivers turn on the radio on the bus. Most of the time it’s GenFM *blurgh)*; in rare cases, dangdut *double blurgh*. Apparently some people think that they can speak on the phone very very loudly. I don’t think so.

Suppose you reach your destination in one piece…you should get off the bus. Usually you can use all the doors to exit, but if the shelter’s full of people, you should choose the true exit door. ‘Nuff said. Don’t forget to thank God and congratulate yourself.

At all times, keep your belongings safe and your head cool. A TJ ride can be tough – it should be an extreme sport someday.

It is true that TJ can be a great way to get around, but public transportation is not only moving a person from point A to point B but also providing reliable, consistent service. While TJ’s benefits amaze me a couple of times, TJ could also be an inch shy of being a human right violation. Anyway, best wishes to TransJakarta.

PS. Now that I’ve written this potentially libelous writing, I’m going to pray that Fauzi Bowo won’t sue me in court.