In Indonesia, things tend to follow the path of least expectations, rather than of least resistance. Weird stuffs pop up in the media each and everyday without any sign of its stopping; in fact, I feel that we're currently in some kind of mystical renaissance. But no, I'm not talking -at least for now- about what the guys in DPR are doing. Frankly, there's plenty of weirdness to go around without involving Senayan. I'm talking about the growing popularity of bogus mysticism (pardon the pleonasm) in the society.
In the telly we have these disturbing REG PRIMBON and REG WETON guys, offering dubious advices based on the clients birthday in Javanese calendar. If they think that it's working...apparently it's true. These ads haven't stopped haunting the holy box, so it must be making mountains of money. In fact, we're getting more of similar stuffs. Oh man, those genies must be paid millions for this. Additionally, we are treated to an unhealthy dose of the infamous Indosiar sinetrons that jumps the evil snake the moment it starts. For one, the sinetron uses dubbing for some unknown reason, perhaps to distract us from the wooden acting. Or the questionable dialogue. Or the surreal storyline. It also has an endless array of poorly-rendered "horrifying" creatures to choose from: giant cobras, dragons, eagles, devils, and the whole lot. Expect Caribou Barbie to drop in soon. The funny thing is, most episodes are set in an imaginary Less-than-Lalaland, while the cars cruising around clearly sports Jakarta's "B" license plate. Here's hoping that Indosiar is actually desperate, not stupid.
Furthermore, a quick glance at any roadside magazine vendor will also reflect this otherworldly trend. Chances are you will have plenty of newspapers and magazines to satisfy your inner hunger for wicked "news" (mind the quotes). I've actually got the chance to see what's inside. Once, and only once. In that edition, a loyal reader gladly shares his encounter with your typical (dead) lady-in-white, while another expounds on the "science of ghosts". Wait, there's more. It also contains ads from quite a selection of dukuns/shamans/magicians/"smart people" who are ready to help you anytime, whether it's for seducing the next door pair-of-boobs, making you emit an irresistible aura, piling up the bucks, or giving Pfizer a run for its money. It seems that they can make all kinds of magical charms and amulets for any intention.
Now you won't be surprised by this particular mystical case in Bali that will make SBY's "Blue Energy" and "Supertoy Rice" tomfooleries sound like science and Donna Sheridan's sexual adventure in Mamma Mia! seem tame. A while ago, an elderly man in the famous Island of the Gods was caught red-handed having a little fling with a female cow. You know what I mean, right? I can't describe it too well here; I have no intention get this blog blocked by our self-righteous government. The poor guy, reports say 70-years old, was so strongly attracted to the cow that he didn't hesitate to do some nasty things; he just couldn't help it. If you think this story ends there, boy, are you so wrong. Later, people found out that the (un)lucky cow was pregnant with what's supposed to be a half-man, half-cow creature. (I know what you're thinking, just hold off those thoughts for a while.) Locals were enraged by this disgraceful action and said that the old guy practically cursed them all. Different doomsayers have their own doomsday scenarios, for example the Porn Bill being passed into law, but as far as I'm concerned, the guy messed up big time. Thus, to keep Hell from raining inferno upon their heads, the villagers decided to conduct a purification ritual to wash off the curse.
Funny enough, the ritual was as sensational as the cow-affair itself. The pregnant cow was tied to a motor boat, dragged for about 3 km into the ocean, and finally they let her drown -bringin with her the whole set of bad luck. At this point, I felt quite sorry for the elderly man because he hasn't got the buzz he deserves. Hello, he was the one who acted wildly, so for the sake of fairness he should get more exposure. Sadly, until today he's not half as popular as the now-drowned cow/victim. Meanwhile, this piece of story's 15 minutes of fame is stealthily fading away.
I rarely mess with other people's cultural practices, but this one is so wrong on so many levels. First of all, the rapist is a poor man, yet the cost of this ritual is quite steep. The punishment will surely send him further down the spiral of poverty. Second, it promotes an illogical way of thinking. Seriously, how can a cow be knocked up by a man, they simply don't match. Maybe the cow has been cheating on somebody else before being impregnated - again, seriously? Lastly, it is an unnecessary killing of animal. The drowning of the criminal cow can only mean that some people prioritize mysticism over logic and science, even in this so-called modern Indonesia, where one can access the internet from a roadside coffee shack.
Stay tuned in for the next weird things!!
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