Hear No (Indonesian Music) Evil

As a proud Indonesian, I just don't get it why people are so amazed by our neighbour across the strait, Malaysia. Malaysia this, Malaysia that, and whatever Malaysia, oooooh... Oh puh-leeze, just because they're airing fancy tourism advertisments doesn't mean that they're really all that. Frankly, it only shows that they are more than ready to sweeten up their otherwise mediocre stuffs. Indonesia has a lot more than that; it's just that we haven't mastered the art of extorting money from gullible tourists who will pay for anything we label as "unique" or "exotic". If we realize it, Indonesia has so many things to brag about. Maybe that's why Malaysia relentlessly tries to be Indonesia's 34th province -if I counted that correctly anyway: they love our exquisite batik, glorify our reog Ponorogo, and sing our traditional songs. They will do anything to make everyone believe that they're a part of Indonesia. However, as far as I'm concerned, Indonesia is the more developed of the two countries.

Take one thing (which is actually the topic of this post): music. It is a well-known fact that Indonesian music is conquering its neighbours, especially Malaysia and Brunei Darussalam. Citizens of those countries are big fans of Indonesian bands such as Nidji, Gigi, Ungu, and even Radja. What's that I hear just now? Kangen Band? Well, I won't be surprised to know that it has found some followers there too. Songs from Indonesia are dominating radio airplay in Malaysia, day after day, year after year. To quote a Malaysian artist, "KL in the night feels like Jakarta" with all the Indonesian songs playing everywhere. Malaysians are craving for Indonesian music.

On the other hand, Malaysian music hasn't gained much ground in the archipelago. I, for one, feel that they're music is too "dangdut"esque and is so not on the same level with our music. At times, they're not trying hard enough to sound -and look- good, while at other times, they're trying a wee bit too hard. Some songs did create a minor buzz, like the weird "Angguk Angguk Geleng Geleng" but most of them failed miserably. Siti Nurhaliza might be an exception...because she upgraded herself by collaborating heavily with Indonesian musicians. For example, many of her songs are written by Dewiq, and her more recent video clips are made by a famous Indonesian director (forgot his name, but he's really good). See it for yourself, this is her back then before all the collabs; feel sorry for her.

Nevertheless, some people aren't happy with the way things are. Unable to compete, Malaysian artists are struggling to gain followers in their own territory. There has been many reports that a group of Malaysian artists are trying to block Indonesian music from being the ruler of their world. The latest news said that the group even met with the Malaysian Minister of something and Communications to pass the message. They proposed that Malaysian radio station must fill 90% of their airtimes with local (Malaysian) music, leaving only 10% for Indonesian. It seems that they already knew the plan's too wacky because they are ready to negotiate for 80%:20% ratio, if the proposal is deemed to heavy.

One thing: the plan is utterly ridiculous. First of all, it simply tells everyone that those artists cannot learn from the competition and therefore, they always lag behind. They should've realized that they need to develop if they want to survive the Indonesian invasion. Frankly, it is not Indonesia's fault if they can't or don't want to learn from us and keep making all those lame dangdut songs. Second, it's too much intervention. Radio playlists are determined from many factors, one of them is how popular it is among the audience. If Indonesian songs are so wanted there, they automatically top all the charts. The limitation will only violate the supply and demand relationship; it puts radio stations at risk of being left by their listeners. Furthermore, the plan will not have any effect to business there. It can't break the wave of Indonesian music's popularity among Malaysians. When they can't listen to Indonesian songs on radio, they'll simply go to a music store and buy the CD. As simple as that. Ultimately, it is unfair for the Malaysian people. They need good music and they have the full freedom to choose what they listen to. Apparently, our music can fulfill the need better. So please let them enjoy it. Why would those Malaysian artist sacrifice their own people by forcing them to listen to unwanted music?

A "Quickie" with God

Aaaah...Ramadan, the month of selfless sacrifice and pure devotion. Heaven breaks loose and everybody becomes an angel. Mosques are packed with people hoping to gain everything Ramadan has to offer. They go to Qur'an recitals and maybe try to finish all 114 surahs in 30 days (Kind late, but good luck!). Some participate in religious discussion groups to enrich their knowledge about Islam. In the last 10 days of the month, people go to their favorite mosques to do i'tikaf -devoting the night for God, only God, and nothing but God. Although I haven't quite reached that level, I believe that these practices are beneficial to us, like all religious practices are.

But those are not what I'm going to blog about. Instead, I'm writing about a practice unique to the fasting month (apart from watching those horrible Ramadan sinetrons or Islamic talkshows hosted by overpaid ustads): the tarawih prayer/salat. According to everyone else, this is a very recommended sunnah. It's not compulsory, but it earns you a giant truckload of good deeds - if you really want to count your blessings. Basically, tarawih is done like the plain ol' salat, only the number of rakaats differ. The "rule" states that it is performed in even number of rakaats, starting from two. In practice, people also differ: most people do 8 rakaats, 20 is also common, although 30 or 40 is not unheard of. Me? I personally prefer 8, if I'm in a mood to do tarawih at all. (I'm not that bad, but now you know that I don't walk with a halo over my head).

Now, that brings us to my annual experience at one of my relative's house. The family hosts a breaking-the-fast gathering every year, inviting extended families plus children and an ustad from an orphanage. It starts from more than an hour before magrib, and they (emphasis on they) do Qur'an recitals waiting for the azan magrib to be heard. No story to tell there...until tarawih. This particular ustad, who is the always the same year after year, does the tarawih in 20 rakaats, divided into 10 sets of 2 rakaats. Obviously, those 20 rakaats take more time than my preferred 8-rakaat prayer does; however, that's not the source of my agony.

The ustad, as the imam (leader of the congregation), loves to speed up all the prayers, surahs, and moves. Probably, he's trying to minimize the time required to perform all 20 rakaats, but his speed is somewhat untolerable. Coming from me, you just have to believe that he is obscenely fast. For one, his surah reading speed will humble any fast-talking gossiper you meet. Some may say that he's blessed with an agile tongue; I say he's ridiculous. Furthermore,  he completes his salat moves (e.g. ruku' and sujud) faster than you can say "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" or "hidup adalah perbuatan". When doing the sujud, my head hardly touches the prayer mat when he's starting the next move. And he left nothing unaccelerated, even the after-salat zikir sounds like random chants to the infidel untrained ears.

What's the point of all those 20 rakaats if their only meaning is a "quickie" with God, instead of a deep and full devotion to the Almighty. I don't know if the imam actually recites all the salat prayers, let alone if he does that correctly. For God's sake, he's the imam! He should show utmost piety to his congregation, not show off that he can finish the whole thing in a jiffy. Even I know that in salat, there's a principle called tuma'ninah which requires us to do every move and say every prayer with serenity, calmness, tranquility. These qualities are needed to help us understand what we're saying. The prayers won't mean anything if they just flew off like a bullet because after all, what we can gain from salat depends on how we take in its wonderful essences.

So please, spare us from your meaningless salat...It's far better to do 8 rakaat with your full, undivided attention than 20 without any benefit. Finally, I'd like to quote Bree from Desperate Housewives: "I go for worship, not for a workout."

Porn Bill: Back From the Dead

If you're an Indonesian political party, how do you woo "muslim" voters to pick your party in next year's election? To some factions in the DPR (Indonesia's lower house), the answer is wickedly simple: you revive a controversial law that will ban whatever things deemed pornographic by those lawmakers. It was gloriously struck down about three or four years ago, after being the subject of many heated debates. As far as the "debate" went, it was more like a one-sided debate since the pro-side basically just made pointless show-of-force rallies without any real argument. The discussion went on and on for so long...

...and somehow, deliberations were finally stopped and the law was left to rot. Or so we thought.

Earlier this month, the media caught our honorable lawmakers rekindling their lost love. It is now renamed as Pornography Bill, dropping the infamous pornoaction part which is actually a made-up word by the former committee. (Who's had the stupidity to coin that word? What a dumb joke, and I'm laughing.) It is supported by all but two factions, giving it an easy pass if the House is (dys)functional enough to do so. The pair of factions opposing the bill are PDI-P (Indonesian Democratic Party - Struggle) and PDS (Prosperous Peace Party) with 122 seats combined out of 550. They have shown a firm stance against anything that might compromise the identity of our great nation and its Bhinneka Tunggal Ika. In the process, they also defended the people's rights to freedom of expression and the freedom to choose.

On the other hand, the supporting factions want to haste the deliberation of the bill and make it into a law as soon as possible. This group includes ruling Golkar and Demokrat parties, and an array of other parties: PAN, PKB, PPP, PPP, PBR, and of course, PKS. Surprise, surprise...not. The latter wants the law so badly that they're pushing for its endorsement before Lebaran as a "Ramadan present". It's so "sweet", your tummy will hurt. Other than revealing that PKS is a lousy present-giver, this law shows what these parties are craving: votes from Indonesia's muslim majority in the 2009 elections. If not for that, why would Golkar, which boasts itself as a centrist-nationalist party, pitch in on this laughable bill?

They are trying to fool people into believing that this bill is about saving the moral of Indonesians, claimed to be ruined by porn, among other things. "Thou shalt accept porn bill, for it is salvation...and millions of precious votes." People are made to think that this bill will develop religious (i.e. Islamic) values in the society by banning anything related to sexualism. Thus, the good-for-nothing MUI (Indonesian Council of Ulama) happily threw their weight behind this bill.

I believe that you are smarter than that. The unclear definition of pornography in the bill is very prone to be abused. Seriously, I'd like to ask how can those lawmakers believe that they can fairly define what pornography is. Besides, the conservative nature of Islamist parties in the House will certainly take things to even worse direction. In fact, the law is more likely to hurt whom it should protect. A law should be made as carefully as possible, since it will be applied to all parts of the country and it will affect people's lives. We must not take any risk by enacting a law with such vagueness. Last but not least, this law is blatantly based on Islamic law which should be applied, as a religious obligation, only personally. This proud nation stands firmly on its core principles of Pancasila and no one is allowed take that away from us.

Fool Me Twice, Shame on Me

First, he wanted to turn water into fuel. As it progressed, the project generated more ridicule than electricity through its dubious processes invented by a mysterious, if not fake, inventor. Then, he promoted a newly-developed high-productivity rice plant dubbed Supertoy, a variety that can be harvested multiple times without replanting. It is now revealed to be another hoax. Next time we see him in the news, he'll be turning water into wine or send a feast down from the sky.

Who is this certain "he" are we talking about? Boy, I don't expect him to be a government big shot, let alone be a president. He'd be one ridiculous president, if you ask me. So, once again, who is this "he"?

It hurts me to say this (believe me, I'm crying on the inside), but the "he" is our very own President of the Republic of Indonesia, Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono. I think he totally beat the paranormal out of those creepy "reg weton" and "reg primbon" guys. He's only another step away from claiming himself to be a prophet sent down to fix this nation and clean my room. Seriously, I don't get it how he could simply fall into the same hole twice. Is he trying to get an instant popularity boost before the election or is he just plain gullible?

So, Mister Miracle Worker here quickly denied any link to the project-turned-hoax, but what can he do? The media has been feeding on this story like crazy and now, everybody knows that the Supertoy is indeed a toy. In affected area Purworejo, enraged farmers burned their unproducing fields, fueling further media circus. Panicky SBY camp tried to clear up the mess, saying that the prez was only fulfilling an invitation to promote the toy. They blamed the company that developed the rice variety for not conducting thorough tests and also for cutting so many corners to release the seeds. "Coincidentally" (mind the quotes), the company is led by none other than Heru Lelono, the presidential staff who also goaded SBY into the Blue Energy fiasco. Anyway, the die is cast and now everybody openly questions the professionalism of RI-1.

Aaargh, I don't know where to start or what to write! This is so stupid on so many levels. SBY was duped by his own staff member into shameful schemes, twice, as if once is not enough. There are allegations that Mr. HL was involved in the hoax with a big neon sign saying "nepotism": previously, he was already close to SBY from some sorta organization. He should take the responsibility to somehow clean up this mess, but you can see that Heru is still here, safe and sound. Oh please, how can you pull a presidential prank twice and get away with it?

Then, how could the company release the rice seeds before its being certified by the Ministry of Agriculture? News sources said that the new variety hasn't been properly tested, although there are strict rules and a long road before a rice variety can be used for commercial purposes. I guess it is not so wrong to say that there must've been some "play" in the process. Presidential play much? I'm not so surprised.

Next, how can he not know about what he's promoting? His being a president is reason enough to be extra careful in endorsing anything, especially before facing an election. He made the mistake once when endorsing the Blue Energy, now he's more than glad to repeat it. Ugh, he could've simply waved his hand and his aides will happily research into the Supertoy. Maybe he wouldn't have to deal with all this brouhaha had he done his tiny bit of homework...

And he wants to run for president again next year? Blurgh. I hope he will at least think twice before choosing to promote his next solution-to-all-life's-problems rather than to watch Rihanna's latest video. Come on, everybody knows that Disturbia is much better than hectares of empty rice plants. (Well, duh!)

I Offended the Busway, and I Paid for It

When I was writing my last post, I didn't expect any retaliation from TransJakarta. Honestly, it didn't even occur to me to diss the bus. That time, I was innocently sharing all my experiences in being a busway regular: the long walk between shelters under the sweltering heat, the mysterious delays of the buses. It's kinda fun because I believe that some of you haven't tried it. And I had a lot to say about TransJakarta anyway.

Call it a divine punishment or anything you want, but the busway successfully made me suffer this week. On Monday, I couldn't go home until 6 o'clock-something. I proceeded to the Salemba UI shelter as usual with a happy, unsuspecting heart. Well, the fun ended there. The shelter was already quite packed, but it turns out that most of the crowd were lining for the bus to Matraman like I. Just my wonderful luck! To allow us more time to let in the bustling busway shelter atmosphere, no bus came for almost fifteen minutes...only on my side. The other side, heading to Ancol, got rows of mostly-empty buses in a tight conga line.

When a bus finally came, the passengers inside were packed more tightly than Dewi Persik's bum in her jeans. No-no, I didn't pay Rp 3500 to get squeezed in a bus of many smells, so I gladly let it go. Then another bus came, not so full, but the holy guardian of busway doors only allowed half of the line to board it. If you notice this post's pattern, you can guess what's coming: yeah, the guy in front of me got on the promised bus, but I can only curse him wave him goodbye. Another ten minutes, another grey bus finally approached the shelter with enough space to let this humble man in. Finally I could start the journey home...although I couldn't say that it's a fun journey.

The pattern prevails; the busway god hadn't forgiven me yet. I had to make full use of my hands and feet during the ride, i.e. I had to stand in the narrow aisle, hands holding fast to the grippie-thingy. (If you have the heart to help me expand my vocab, help me change that "grippie-thingy".) Salemba to Matraman, standing tall; Matraman to Dukuh Atas, standing and surviving; Dukuh Atas to Al-Azhar; hardly even standing. I should really ask for a partial refund of my 3500 rupiahs since I didn't use any seating facility on the bus. Blurgh.

The next day, I had to ride the bus again and I think the busway still held some grudge. I had to wait for ages before a bus came, without any empty seat. Then, from Salemba to Dukuh, the faux-scheduling system intervened. At one point before Manggarai, the bus suddenly stopped for nothing. It just stayed in the middle of the lane, which was actually empty. You cannot call me impatient: I had waited for a considerable time before my trip resumed at full speed.

Fortunately, the remainder of the trip wasn't as torturous. I finally got a seat because after one particular shelter the bus became empty like a mosque after Ramadan. The mighty busway had been appeased. Hurray!

Twice the Ride

Oh yeah. It didn't take too long before I finally used the TransJakarta busway service from my university in Salemba to my high school Al-Azhar 1. In fact, I've already done the route twice in three days, with another test-ride to measure the time required. The best thing about it is that both ends of my public transport journey are right where I need them to be. The bus shelter in Salemba is right in front of my campus, hence the name "Salemba UI", while the one in Al-Azhar is, well, right in front of the mosque, hence "Masjid Agung". From Salemba UI, I go to Matraman I shelter to transfer to another route, which takes me to Dukuh Atas. Then, I change routes once again to reach my beloved Al-Azhar campus. Actually, I've already known that I can do the route on Bang Yos' legacy project, but that knowledge didn't help me withstand all the shocks from the unpredictable adventure.

First of all, when I told you about changing routes, I really mean it. Don't imagine that route transfer is simply strolling to another door in the same kaleng kerupuk bus shelter. Click on the image above, look for Matraman I and Dukuh Atas 2. You'll notice that both of them are connected by a long oval to another shelter. If there were a legend for the map, the explanation for the oval would be "a hellish walk on a ridiculously long bridge through the city's heat and pollution, plus beggars if you're lucky enough". Basically, they're separate stops which are close enough to each other to make people walk far enough between them. Or perhaps the bridges are built-in jogging tracks to keep Jakartans healthy.

Next, I was dumbfounded by how the faux-scheduling system works. If, in any case, there are buses that goes too closely between each other, the one at the back will go ultra-slowly to let the bus in front gain an acceptable distance. It is a way to avoid rows of buses in one shelter and to have some time between buses. That won't bother you at all, unless you're riding the second bus and have a short temper. You paid the same price for your ticket like the passengers of the first bus, so why do you have to be delayed just for the freakin' system to look great? It's not even our fault that the buses often clump together.

In conclusion, I now understand why so many people still hesitate to ride TransJakarta. Well, frankly, I'm not so satisfied with it either. If it wasn't for the traffic jam-free portions of the route, I'd rather not use it. The city council has tons of stuffs to improve so that the city's first real pulic transportation system can do what it's supposed to do the from the very first place. It has taken so much of already-rare road spaces, so it'd better be worth it, soon.

Happy Ramadan for Everyone

It's here and it's staying for the whole month, and it's not your in-laws. Although I might seem a wee bit unwelcoming to Ramadan in the previous post, I do look forward to the festive month. This is the moment when it's OK to be so freaking pious without any "tobat loe?" ("look who's repenting?") comment and this is also the moment when you can go out till waay late at night without being interrogated...err, I should stop before I ruin the Ramadan magic.

Today, we performed the first day of self-control. Many of us (read: I) are still in mental confusion due to the fact that this year's Ramadan came right after the start of university activities. It simply began before I had known it would come soon. Frankly, I had so many thoughts like "where to go for lunch?" or "a cold drink will be totally nice" earlier, especially because now I don't live in an exclusively muslim community. It felt quite comfortable actually; there's no more ridiculous Ramadan myths from sources as reliable as Paris Hilton and it's not like the nonmuslims show off what they're eating for lunch. I just need to constantly remind myself that I'm fasting, that's all.

Undeniably, this is only the start of Ramadan. There are millions of opportunities to grab in this holy month to get to know God better and essentially be a better person to everyone, including yourself. That's what Islam rahmatan lil 'alamin means, right? Ramadan is no Ramadan unless it motivates you to do good each and everyday in all facet of life. We don't need bearded religiofakers who can only spread hatred among the people in the name of religion; we need people with a functioning conscience who can make their lives be of benefit to mankind.

To start things off, I humbly apologize for any mistake I might have done, any words that might've hurt (sorry to Malaysians), and also any typo since I'm doing my blog with my eyes half-shut after 10 PM. Happy Ramadan for Everyone!

Now you can go back to watching your favorite gossip shows, Ramadan style!